Wednesday, September 5, 2007

There is a reason I don't check my own mail!

What started out as a quick trip to the mailbox turned out to be the biggest adventure Drew and I have ever had! It's a bit humorous now that I think about it and I'm sure the squirrels were laughing their bushy tails off, but at the time I was scared to death!

Drew was getting sleepy this afternoon and kept saying "night night night night". (She could have really been saying anything but that's what it sounded like! LOL!) I knew that my SO kit was in the mailbox but Jason was too busy with work to go get it. Since it was time for Drew to go down for a nap, I decided to run (AKA take my car) down and get it so I could play while she was asleep (cause if you read yesterday's post you know I couldn't dare scrapbook while she's awake!). I put on more clothes (a cool part of being a SAHM is that you can wear ANYTHING you want in the house!), grabbed my camera (needed to take a picture of our road for another project), and took Drew to the car. I opened the door to find no car seat. Yes I was just going to the mailbox via the driveway but seriously do you think I could drive with that monkey loose in the car????? It was in Jason's truck which was right there by my car...locked up tight! UGH! The sky was starting to look a bit yucky and I didn't have time to stand around in front of the garage debating what I could do so I put my camera in my car (who could wrestle with a Rebel and a monkey?) and set off down the driveway on foot. Now those of you that live in nice little neighborhoods are probably thinking "She really would drive her car to the mailbox?" I cannot see the road from my house. Our driveway winds through the woods. Our driveway is gravel not concrete so YES I take my car! LOL!

I get halfway down the driveway and I'm thinking "This ain't so bad" but of course, I'm going downhill. The wind was starting to pick up and the sky was getting darker. I picked up the pace. Drew apparently thought I was bouncing her too much cause she started shrieking like she does in the car when we hit a bump. Really is Fancy Pants felt worth this? Oh it was! LOL!

I finally make it out of the wooded area where I can see the road and the sky. Holy Cow! It was totally black up there! I high tail it to the mailbox which was full! Somehow I manage to get the Priority box (containing my precious felt) out and grab the envies (noticing that the black spider I told Jason about 3 days ago was STILL in the back corner!). By now the wind is blowing so hard I can barely stand up straight. leaves and dirt are flying around, and my arms are way too full! And to top it all off....it starts lightning!

I am terrified of lightning. Wasn't really until about 3 years ago when Jim (our BIL) got struck in his own backyard. Yes he was just knocked down, spent only one night in the hospital (for observation), and is perfectly fine but he is over 6 feet tall and like 3 of me so I'm gonna bet I wouldn't be that lucky! Wasn't really wanting to find out today. Plus I was carrying my most prized possession (NOT the felt silly! Drew!). I took off running! Quit laughing (yeah it's a bit funny to me too. Now anyways!). Have you ever ran uphill, on gravel, in flip-flops, carrying a box, 5 envelopes, and a very wiggly 25 pound one year old? I didn't think so! Most people would have taken one look at the sky and immediately gone back into the house!

So here I am, panting like a dog in a desert, attempting to run (did I mention it was uphill?) and limbs from a tree fall out right next to where we were. Good grief! Could it get any worse? Oh but it can! It thundered, I screamed, Drew latched her little arms around my neck as tight as they would go, and it started raining! At this point I still could not see the house! Seriously! How far is the house from the road????? (840 feet according to Jason but I'm thinking that is not taking into consideration the curves!)

By now I'm fairly certain I'm gonna die! If the lightning doesn't kill me, I'll surely have a heart attack. I must be the most out of shape person in the world! (Although I was testing my endurance under some super crazy conditions!) Or I could be strangled by the death grip Drew had on my neck! Poor baby! I know she was scared to death! Not only had Mama drug her outside (where no sensible person would go! LOL!) but now there was loud noises, falling branches, flashing lights, and shower-like conditions (Drew does NOT like showers! LOL!).

Finally the house is in sight! Do I continue to stumble up the hill around the side of the house to the only unlocked door? Or do I put Drew on the front porch and run through the house to get her? I wisely chose to continue stumbling. She's so fast she'd be off the porch and halfway down the driveway again by the time I made it to the front door and I did not want to have to start this journey over! We made it into the garage just in time for the pelting, side-ways rain to start. I put her down before I dropped her, but she wanted no part in that! She immediately started climbing my leg, crying and screaming. I totally felt like the worst mother in the world! A total idiot!

Once in the house she was OK. I however was NOT! I still thought I was gonna die! Couldn't breathe. Wasn't sure if I should cry or throw up. My legs and arms were shaking so bad I couldn't stand up so I just laid down in the hall. And my sweet girl took that opportunity to pounce on me! LOL!

A good while later I called Jason and asked him just how far it was down the driveway and would he think that it'd be tough for someone to walk to the mailbox and back while carrying a 25 pound baby. He said "Well yeah! It's raining!" "Ummmmm. It wasn't when I started." And he LAUGHED! (And wanted to know what it would take for him to see me reenact it!)

And that is why I DO NOT check my own mail!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

GOOD GRIEF!! You need to write books. I swear I almost bit all my brand new nails off...suspense is your BEST subject. Oh and how to not carry a 25 lb baby while it's raining and getting your mail ORRRRRRRR better yet.....how to NOT get the mail.

You're so cute...loved your story. I SO felt like I was there!

Anonymous said...

LMBO To funny!! I cant imagine carrying one of the kids down a long drive way *like yours* for mail either..

Christi said...

LOL! so glad that you both made it and wow, I agree!!! You know how to write a good story. Smiles....

Anonymous said...

ROFLOLPIMP....Brandi thanks for the great morning read!!! A perfect way to start my day!

Glad you guys are okay after that and yes, you are a bit nuts. That better be one ROCKIN' layout from the box girl!!!

Norma Kennedy said...

ROTFL

You are so funny- so glad you made it back in one piece !

Norma (localocairis)

AmyG said...

OMG, Girl.....you seriously should write a book!!! Your blog cracks me up everyday!! You can sure tell a good story!!! Hope you are both better now. Not suffering from "post-tramatic stress" or anything?LOL
PS....Thos PPs are from Hobby Lobby...Paper Studio

Sheila said...

how's that for a mommy stress test? I think you passed!

Brandy said...

what an adventure, too bad my mail falls onto my kitchen counter or i could relate better (that was mean, huh?)

the felt was worth it, wasn't it. love it

Daniela Dobson said...

This is so funny and great writing too. You should do short stories or a book :)

Delfina said...

Love the story. Your very good at writing them.

Dolores said...

OMG I am so sorry you went through such an ordeal. I do have to say it was a good laugh, I could just picture you with your 25 lb baby.

Carrie Postma said...

good grief! you made me giggle...I would have done the same thing! LOL!

Kathy said...

OMG!! You poor thing, I can only imagine. No I can't my kids are all grown and I know that I couldn't do it. You are a great writer. I loved reading and could actually picture it in my mind. Hope that you enjoyed the pkg and that is was worth it in the end.

Lyneen said...

ROFL... YOU have a a WAY with WORDS!!!!!!! I wouldn't check it either!

janet said...

Ok...that was a good story!!! Your driveway sounds like a trip I don't want to take!!! Not with a 25 pound baby!!!
Glad you got in the house safe!!! I would have been scared too!!!

Paper Crown said...

lol, that is too funny!! doesnt sound like it was then, but at least you guys (and me) get a good laugh when hearing about it now! lol.

Ronda Simpson said...

hahaha....i agree, I wouldnt check my own my anymore either!

Ronda Simpson said...

oops...i meant "mail", not "my"!